Zahir

listening to pin guan's 'Wu Ke Jiu Yao'...

Was recommended the book by Paulo Coelho, 'The Zahir'.
Flipped through it last night and saw this:

Zahir is someone or something which, once we have come into contact with them or it, gradually occupies our every thought, until we can think of nothing else. This can be considered either a state of holiness or of madness.

Uh-oh. So I have been crazy most of my life.