listening to william so's 'Bei Shang Zhi Bu'...
Almost half a year gone, yet I haven't posted any picture of my navel ring(NR).
Unbelievable but it's actually an accurate indicator of my mood.
When things are fine, NR and I co-exist in an amicable relationship. When I'm down in the dumps, it aggravates by oozing out yucky stuff to annoy me further. Have to painstakenly remove the crust coz it looks so gross.
I'm beginning to think of NR as an entity on its own.
~~~
Kay's a sucker for self-inflicted torment.
If I see a scab, I have to scrap it off.
Whether it's on my face, at the navel, or some other obscure body parts; doesn't matter if it can still bleed and hurt like shit...
I must flick the little piece of cells away, to see the reddened raw skin underneath.
If I have a gash that's mending, I'll play with it.
Sometimes I try to pry it apart to see the pink puffy flesh between split skin.
When plasma or blood appears, I'll freak out and warn myself never to do it again.
~~~
I'm foolishly doing it again.
Thought the wound had healed nicely.
So out of sheer stubbornness (or stupidity), I started facing the scar and picking the surface.
Yeah! No blood, no pain, no... OUCH! Damn!
Opened the old can of worms, and they've started gnawing on my flesh again.
Crazy. Imbecile.
I really gotta stop doing that.
Keep away, Kay. You can't handle it.
ps: I know some of you dearies out there who read this blog, will worry that I'm not too fine. Worry not, I'm good.
3 comments:
i know you're a strong girl - you'll get through this. hang in there, dear!
ha...terribly indepth & somewat morbid but fairly accurate description of scabs and wounds! =) i lyk!
e: dear gal, i know you are terribly bogged down by work. thanks for caring despite the busy schedule :) will hang in there. i won't die. hahaha!! you take care! will see you soon...
shine: babe! you've got a blog as well! ;) yeah i know the descriptions are a lil sick, but i also agree that they're apt. for both physical and invisible wounds. you feeling ok too?
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